The best days of our life

Every afternoon when we get home and get out of the car Elias has a little fit to go play. Usually that’s fine as long as the weather is cooperating. So almost every day we spend the first hour after we get home outside. He runs over to the neighbor’s fence and looks and laughs at the dogs. Then he’ll go slide for a bit. And he’ll usually manage to get into 59 things that are dangerous or just not something he needs to be messing with. (like climbing the ladder that is set up by the side of our house or pushing over the garbage can and the garbage spilling…) This little adventure usually ends when he either falls and hurts himself or when I need to go inside so that I can cook dinner. When this time comes, you can just about bet on him throwing a fit and not really wanting to go inside. I can usually coax him by saying we are going to go see Daisy or Paw Patrol. The next hour or so when we are stuck inside seems to drag on FOREVER! Finally Brent gets home and we eat dinner, he bathes Elias while I shower and then me and Elias head to bed. Sometimes that hour or so that we are inside waiting on Brent to get home feels like it will never end. Elias is a typical 18 month old and into just about everything and goes 90 to nothing just about any time he is awake. These days if you look at him crooked he loses it and throws a fit on the floor. He’s kind of exhausting to be around. After being with kindergartners all day long I feel like I don’t have as much patience or energy left at the end of the day as I wish I did and on the days that he is super whiney I count down the minutes until Brent gets home so that I have someone else on my team. But I LOVE it. I LOVE every single second of being his mama. I enjoy watching him learn. I love hearing him say “my mama” repeatedly while hanging on to my leg while I try to do laundry or cook dinner. I LOVE sitting on the ground and playing puzzles with him, even when he melts down because the square won’t go in the circle hole. I LOVE hearing his little laugh while he’s watching Paw Patrol, even when I HATE using the TV to help keep him out of the kitchen and away from the hot stove. I LOVE watching him chase Daisy one minute and kick her the next. I LOVE watching him explore new things, even when it means he scatters pots and pans all over the floor. I LOVE chasing him around the yard and watching him find rocks and sticks to play with outside.

 

These are the best days of our life. We are so blessed and I LOVE these days with him. Even if I’m not home with him all day and feel like I don’t have as much to give him as I would like some days. These are the days I want to look back on and remember soaking up as much time with him as I possibly could. So my house isn’t spotless and we may not eat as healthy as I wish we did and there may not be updated photos hanging all over our house and we may have one room that is so full of junk you can barely walk in it but I’m going to bet that in 15 years those things won’t matter and I won’t regret leaving those things undone. But soaking up every afternoon with our growing boy will be something I never regret.

We had a blast outside yesterday afternoon..excuse his hair. It doesn’t cooperate.

March - 7 edit

I am so blessed to be trusted to do the most important work of raising a child. It’s the most important and best job I’ll ever have. When I don’t feel like I’m enough I turn to scripture and God and I am always reassured that He will equip me to be the mom that Elias needs.

Now to Him who is able to do far more abundantly than all that we ask or think, according to the power at work within us…. Eph. 3:20

Now he’s pulling the tin foil out of the drawer—I better go take care of that……

 

 

I will carry you….

This time of year is tough. It’s not something that shows on my face every day, or even something that those close to me may realize. It’s something I feel like I hide pretty well. (Those that truly love me KNOW, but may not see it…) But three years ago at this time I was in the final days of being pregnant with Evan. There were so many emotions I was feeling at that time. Excited. Scared. Anxious. Peaceful. Worried. Nervous. There was a constant change in how I was feeling. I was really looking forward to meeting Evan but had no idea what would happen once he was born.  I had prayed and completely trusted God’s plan but I still was so worried that my sweet baby wouldn’t live once he was born. Around this time of year I really start thinking about those final weeks of being pregnant and the 11 weeks we spent with him in Birmingham.I think back to all the doctor’s appointments, the procedures, the prayers, the sleepless nights, and all the moments that led up to him being born. I can close my eyes and be right back at that time in my life.>> I LOVE MY HUSBAND!!!<< (hacked by Brent….) This time three years ago I was in and out of the hospital and going to lots of doctor appointments. This time three years ago my life looked very different than it does today. I’m thankful for all my time with Evan and who it has shaped me into but it’s still just a dark month, every year.

During the month of March I  often think about how I should have a three year old AND a one year old. I imagine what my life would look like if I had two healthy  boys instead of just one. I think about how full my heart is every day with love for Elias and how there is still a little hole in my heart for Evan. I know God’s plan is perfect but my heart still aches for Evan. I always try to think about how Evan is so much better off. I think about how I am a better mama to Elias because of Evan. I think about how lucky I was to get to be Evan’s mama. I really look at all the positives and how much I’ve grown since then. But March is still a tough month.

God has been so good to us. Elias is a healthy, happy, smart, spoiled rotten little boy. He’s everything we looked forward to when we dreamed of having children. My heart could literally explode with the love I have for him. We have amazing friends and family who have supported us and loved us and continue to do so. We have friends who still acknowledge that this life and time of year will always be tough for us–that means so much. That they remember. Because we certainly will never forget Evan and it means more than I can even express that there are others who love us enough to not forget also.  I know God will continue to bless us. His love never fails and I am always amazed at His perfect timing and perfect plan. I will get a reminder of Evan just when I need it most. Sometimes that may mean I need a good cry, sometimes that may mean I just need a little pick me up. I will always be his mama and I love to be reminded of that. I know it’s a God thing when I get a reminder that I needed.

I’ve listened to this song quite a few times this past week….I will carry you Evan!

I’m just asking for prayers for us at this time of year. Ready to enjoy the rest of this beautiful weekend with my sweet little boy!